我怎么能没有你

I finally feel relieved. Because I finally get to stroll slowly under my block! To look at the surroundings even though I have seen it for years and also to enjoy the light breeze. This week was a fruitful yet busy week for me but I really enjoyed it.

Monday went tampanies with Ser.
Tuesday was at home to cook and pack my room.
Wednesday was at hcc for ptft and P6 workshop. And IKEA! :D
Thursday was also at hcc for ptft and P6 workshop. Cell group after that :D (had hilarious quarrel with my stomach)
Friday was at east coast for P6 workshop. Then, prayer meeting.



















































Saturday was at All Saints Home @ tampanies.























Today was in my lover's home.

Anyway, I really thank God for today's LTS test. I literally smiled when doing the test because I really didn't study much and the things I studied, most of them was out. But I hope what I wrote on the paper wouldn't be wrong. I really wonder why God is so good to me. God is good, really very good.

I ♥ Iesu.

Hello.

My name is DaBian.
But I dont love to eat dabian.
I love to eat the stage before digesting to become dabian.
Hoho, hope you have a gay day ahead. ♥

Went IKEA with people just now, I saw the bed I want!
But mama say my room too small!
When there's a will, there's a way!
At most, I rotate it la like rotate photo like that, so easyyyy.
Smart DaBian. Thank God for wisdom :D

I want to paint my room PINK.
"I thought she like gray?!"
HAHA, but paint gray, I don't need to study already lei.

God is love.

自从认识耶稣我的日子就不一样
现在回想起以往真的不敢去想象
他所赐的恩典给了我无比力量
他所给的爱无人能相比

也许现在的你无法完全体会这番话
我全心祈祷他的爱在你心里发扬
祈祷有这么一天我会听见
你歌唱在他国度里面

朋友啊
希望有一天你会看见耶和华
创造你的身他非虚假
他看着你长大

那十字架
就是他为你我所付出的代价
让我们有机会回到他的身旁
投井他的怀抱啊

自从认识耶稣我的日子就不一样
现在回想起以往真的不敢去想象
他所赐的恩典给了我无比力量
他所给的爱无人能相比

也许现在的你无法完全体会这番话
我全心祈祷他的爱在你心里发扬
祈祷有这么一天我会听见
你歌唱在他国度里面

朋友啊
希望有一天你会看见耶和华
创造你的身他非虚假
他看着你长大

那十字架
就是他为你我所付出的代价
让我们有机会回到他的身旁
投井他的怀抱啊

希望有一天你会看见耶和华
投井他的怀抱啊

I know that God still loves me.

If I screamed at God while praying to release anger, will He be alright with it?
I wonder if asking weird questions will sound silly to Him?
I hope Daddy has a laptop to see what I have wrote in my blog.

Like a child I'll take You at Your word.

Lord, I want to but I fear.

Send me, I will go.

God really stirred my heart when I talked to bestie. Out of her pissing off mood, she argued about committing to church services. I tried to speak to her but the more I say, the more she opposed. Things that she have not been taught or no one really taught her about the word of God, I really hope to teach her to my utmost best.

I told this to Charis,
"I really wonder when all those churches will wake up and teach their people things that make sense and agreeable to the word of God."
"I hope God will pour down revival.."
"My heart really break when i see all my christian friends living in a blindfolded world that belongs to devil."

This are not just words to show how emotional I can be. I really hope God will use me to speak truths to others, its ok if I'm gonna face rejections, persecutions. I want to learn to trust God.

God has been speaking to me about a lot of things recently, I pray that I will hold it close and not forget about it.

His love never fails.

HAHA, just got home from granny's place. I was dressed up in a shaggy way because I didn't prepared any clothes to go over other than my uniform. I was wearing a purple top and bottom. On my feet was a dirty school shoes worn without socks and carrying my usual white bag pack. I didn't have the guts to take public transport home so I asked daddy to come and fetch me in case my future husband sees me in this outfit.

While waiting for daddy, as usual, I went to get my rainbow ice cream and stand under the block. Dad drives a motorbike, a not very good looking one. I got up the bike and "BOOM" he goes, my helmet nearly flew because of my small head. Being on the bike is so cool, windy and natural because the smell that goes into my nose are the scent that I normally taste. HAHA, reminscing of how dad drives me to school when I wakes up at 7. Being on the motorbike is so much better than those in the car because dad always squeeze in between of those cars and get to go off once the traffic light turn green. And when I reached the backgate, at least I still have time to run for assembly.
But the weaknesses of being on the bike is that I couldn't get my hair tied in time because I have to wear a helmet and my neat uniform will become so untidy after I get off the bike. I feel so blessed with a motorbike that is drived by my dad.

My art is utterly dissappointing, I ruined my sermon book. Because I was like the man who went to draw extra legs on the snake after completing the normal piece of art.

Where has it gone to?

I asked God for a mirror and God took it out from His pocket.

But He threw it on the floor and it broke.
I was angry and disappointed with God but God's small voice spoke
"Child, its not that I'm selfish but its because you are selfish.
You always ask for blessings, protection, in fact everything from me..
But you seldom ask anything from me about _____ (I don't know how to phrase it)"

A relationship without trust, to me is failed relationship.

Footsteps of God.

I can't say I'm really consecrated from others but at least God is still dealing with my life and molding me to become more like Christ.

I just felt an urgency that I have to post this. I read so many many many Christian's blogs but why are they behaving just like the world (people who doesn't have Jesus), scolding vulgarities, indulging themselves in worldly stuffs, worldly music (music that doesn't belong to God), not reading the bible, wearing revealing clothes (for females), etc.

So what if you attend church every once a week or even regularly? So what if you are a leader leading a group of people in the church? Yet you just behave just like the world. Leaders might have been always saying about how to evangelize, but how you expect people to come and join you when they see no difference in you? I think if you were the one sharing the gospel with me, I would have a thinking of "Since we have no difference (difference in the way we respond to circumstances and difference in our attitude), then whats the point of committing my time every Saturday and Sunday? Even if I attend services every week, I still won't see a change in my life? Why can't I just spend my Saturdays and Sundays slacking and have a good rest instead?"

Jesus is gonna come back the 2nd time. This time He comes back, He's not gonna die on the cross to save our sins again but He's gonna come back and judge us according to our walk with Him.

Reading the bible? What do you think a bible is for? Do you think that a bible is book where you can refer the verses only during sermons? No, it means much more than this. If you don't read the bible, then how are you gonna know who God really is? Pastor may tell you a lot of things about Jesus, God, Holy Spirit but you yourself must experience it by reading the bible. Bible doesn't exist to collect dust.

Those who are grumbling to give up worldly things.. God have a better future for you and I believe that God will use you to touch people's life using your life as an example, I saw how God use me and I pray that you will be strengthen.

I pray that we will obey God in this last days and stand out from others. People nowadays want to be cool right then lets be unique and cool for God instead!

We may have fears to be unique and different but have you ever thought what will happen when you stand out from your friends (I mean in a good way)? People will "copy" you like how others "copy" you in your blog skins and etc. Then they will also wonder why are you so different from me and they slowly will realize, it is actually God who made a U-turn in your life, attitude, behavior. And your friends would be interested to know who is this Jesus.

I really pray that I will be bold enough to be different too.

Oh Dear?

Oh dear, what's wrong with me again? Oh dear, too much to worry, too much to think! Oh dear, its not a very good thing to be so so so so busy. Oh dear, I'm so afraid that I will fail by doing it and make myself look like a fool out of it. Oh dear, I'm adding "Oh dear" infront of every sentence to express how frustrated and impatient I am!

Daddy, 救我. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Short and sweet, with faith.

Chills.

I don't know whether it is from God? If it is, then what is He trying to mean? Its not picture conversation, Daddy! Daddy, please don't show it to me again unless you REALLY REALLY have to, because it makes my hair stand.

Does it represent my life? Or people's life? Or the world? Or.. I don't know?

God really stir up my heart when I was in the bus, passing his house. I can see quite clearly from my view and some more I saw the prayer in her blog, what are You trying to mean again?

Too much question marks. I hope I will dream of God today and ask Him everything in my dream. Oh dear.

THANKYOU DADDY.

HAHA! I'm so so happy, you know why? Cause I found my wallet! :D I think I learn a very important thing out of this. To give thanks to God even if you are in a bad circumstance.

I said this to a lot of people yesterday "If God wants it to return to me, He will do it. But if He doesn't, I only can say thankyou Jesus." HAHA, even though I found it, I still wanna say thankyou Jesus! :D Actually it was mama who found it and when she found it, I was just jumping up and down and I just said "I love you, mama!" Its been really long since I said this to her.. I think she's pretty touched by what I say too.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I'm so so happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :D
Thanks auntie Angelia for encouraging me yesterday :D

I'll worship at Your throne, whisper my own love song.

The things I said before God are all crap when I come back to face the real thing in the world. The promises I made to God and the different fears that I gave to Him, has now become rubbish.

How I wish I can stay in God's presence forever, it just seems like a fairyland to me. I don't want to continue in this state anymore. Daddy, please pull me out from this zone.

I was pretty encouraged by this, its from Robin's blog. It may seems long but I think its worth reading it to gain encouragement.

"One day I decided to quit...
I quit my studies, my relationship, my spirituality...
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God," I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes," I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.

"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.

In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
"I would not quit." He said.

"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots"
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others." He said.
"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern.
Yet, they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high!"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and bring back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
He will never give up on you.
Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you happiness;
Bad days give you experiences;
Both are essential to life.
Keep going..."

He can even move a mountain, whats more for Him?

I think this song was the song that really amazed me in the starting of the year and as we sang it just now, the way I interpret the song seems to be different from how I looked at it at the starting of the year. I have learned more things out of this song today. God, You use me, take my life as a living sacrifice. This is my prayer.


MIGHTY TO SAVE
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

Chorus:
Savior, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever, Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Verse 2:
So take as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Bridge:
Shine your light
And let the whole world see
We're singing
For the glory of the risen King, Jesus


I really thank God for today. Yes, I am happy but I do have fears too. I don't know why those thinking just suddenly pop out in my mind that make me fear so much. God, let Your perfect love casts out all fears.

I want more.

I want to paint my room gray. (I mean literally paint it)
I want to have a gray phone.
I want to have a gray towel.
I want to have a gray pillow, booster, blanket and bed sheet.
I want to have gray planner.
I want to have a gray bag.

Ohnoooo, I just fell in love with GRAY recently. But I don't want to be gray, stepping one leg into black and the other into white.