TINGFANG

The broad and narrow..

I'm tested and I chose the narrow way.

Broad - in comfort & ease but leads to destruction
Narrow - difficult & unattractive but leads to eternal life

Hey (wash bowls) girls, if you read this, just want to tell you that you guys will definitely face testings when you told God that you want to take on the narrow way. Make the right choice when faced with circumstances yeah (:

Not based on what I feel,

When I see your(s) life, I am motivated and encouraged to move forward. But when I close the tabs and stop viewing your(s) life, I feel like I'm back to square 1.

In every seasons of my life,

?

What do I know of this love?

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small

Dear diary,

I will not miss you out tonight. Cause there's just too much, i've gotta jot down.

God, love calling your name.

To live for what You called me,

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

You have to die before you can live. You have to give before you can receive. You have to lose your life in order to find it.

I choose to lay me down.

You've got more things in hand, don't dwell in this.

Don't forget about your life affecting your ministries.

I'd rather you're not at home.

It came upon me as..

I looked back at the good things the Lord has done in my life, I realised I lost my consistency. Circumstances wavered me too much, gotta stand back again, girl.

I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed vision, worldly talking, cheap giving & dwarfed goals.

Argh, you want me to eat maggi mee on cny -.-

its overwhelming

It's hard to reject "opportunities", maybe it is just me.

I rebuke incapability.

Its just the comfort and joy that through all the painful trials and circumstances, it shows that God is still working in your life.

You just proved me right. Argh.

I want to learn to submit because I know that he is still an authority that God placed above me. Even though I really really really really really super super super super super dislike him..

??? (a)

It just becomes harder when school starts.. I really don't like.

It was so exciting, joy uncontainable!

I gotta keep singing..

Gosh, I really don't want to drag my feet there..
The expectations that I set for this area.

Fake.

I caught a glimpse of what it means when it sings,
"There are many prodigal sons,
on the city streets they run,
searching for shelter."

My Savior's birthday is around the corner!

Why didn't I learn to come under? Now it leads to more problems. Argh.

Standing at the altar where God does that work, its great. But I know the moment I returned home, I will go through the same motion. I don't want to face them. I thought I was going on fine. Stop irritating me!!!!!!!

Why are you so petty. But it always happens.

God of wonders..

I guess it was my faith to get food first though its uncertain if she would turn up or not. I was just praying while reading my book and I felt the urge to turn around. I turned around and I saw her running towards me shouting, "TingFang Jiejie!" I turn back and gave thanks to God.

More to come (: It was a blessing to bless.

I am currently reading the book, "The Heavenly Man" about this christian named Brother Yun who had been tortured and thrown in and out of the prison for many times. I was just ashamed as I realized that the butterflies that I have in my stomach can never be able to be compared to the electric batons that he bore for the Lord.

If the electric batons never stopped him from sharing the gospel than how can the butterflies in my stomach scares me off?

To be Your hands and feet,

I knew that there were needs around me that needs to be met.

I am glad that God is still willing to use me though I cannot speak very fluently, I might get tongue tight anytime. Though I am not really interesting in my words, He still managed to flow through me. As all He needs is a willing heart.

I talked to next year p1 girl, named Jiajia from Hainan at the void deck and she was with her grandpa and little sister. I offered her the bread that Ronnie gave me and esther this morning. Though she rejected my bread but she was very friendly and she asked me if I would come down again. I promised her to go down on wednesday to teach her english. I pray that she will turn up.

I offered the bread to another indian guy sitting at another bench, he accepted it. And I said, "God bless you." He smiled.

Its just the joy that I was being used to bless and the comfort that the gospel might be able to reach more people.

He’s not out to remind me of my past–He’s already paid for that and made me brand new.

But more and more I am realizing that being a follower of Jesus Christ ISN’T about my comfort…but rather about my committment to follow Him wherever He asks me to go.

When can I be able to acheive it

The best way is to go out and get in touch with God's people.

At the other face, I struck her.

It took me courage to speak this..

During the whole trip, I really died, fleshly. I learned to not only think about myself when I do certain things. I saw the needs of the people, that motivated to step out courageously and handle the things I was given a chance for.

How often do we commit ourselves so much yet forget or didn't process the whole purpose of doing all these, into our lives?

The different areas that I was involved in, it was an opportunity from God. I remember ci once told me this, "If you don't want to do it, it's okay. Because God would pass the opportunity to others. You are the one on the losing end."

You might not see the difference that you're gonna make by doing a certain action or speak a word. Just like how I acted in the skit, I find it hard to play that role because it wasn't me. But I was just motivated, when I know that maybe the actions that I do, the words that I speak, might be similar to what a person is going through. Through my actions, my words, this particular person's eyes might be open to see the cons of his/her behaviour.

Even when I needed to sing, I struggled. I had fears. But who knows that maybe through your vocals, someone might just receive so much from the lyrics that you are singing out of your mouth or someone might just be ministered by the song.

Through testimony, the same thing, maybe someone might be just going through what you went through before and is seeking for an answer to their problem. And through what you have spoken, people see the light, the hope that they are looking for. It brings a change to this person's life.

So.. Don't miss out the opportunity God has given to you today. Though you may struggle, but be willing to let God take every situation into His hands. Step out courageously. Don't miss the tugging in your heart cause you never know how much God is gonna extend the things that you are doing.

(because I know I am not there yet too)

Have Your way in me.

I want that alertness,awareness and sharpness back at home, not only in the missions field.

i like. so cute!!
(iamblessed.tumblr.com)

So undeserving yet He still reached down.

I am amazed by who You are.

At least I learn it now.

Something to say

Wake up, 7:32 a.m.
Can't believe it's time to do it over again
Yesterday it took all that you had
And you're wondering if you'll ever get it back
But the whole wide world is waiting for
Waiting for you to step out that door
Come on and let your life be heard today

You got something to say
If you're living, if you're breathing
You got something to say
You know if your heart is beating
You got something to say
And no one can say it like you do
God is love and love speaks through you
Got it, you got it
You got something to say

Listen up
I got a question here
would anybody miss you if you disappeared?
your life is the song that you sing
and the whole wide world is listening
well, the answer to your question is
you were created, your life is a gift
and the lights are shining on you today

Save some grace for me.

I know it either breaks me or builds me.

Sometimes when worries creep into me, fear takes its place. I am really fearful and a bit of doubting since so many things happened. I don't know whether its a sign or its a test of faith. But I choose to stand on my own choice. Because I know there's no turning back anymore. And I want give my all for this.

When all these things seems overwhelming..

I compared, I grumbled, I am struggling, I am afraid.

God's Chisel - Masterpiece

Bringing glory back to You.

Though the comforting, gentle and touching words are lovable. Yet sometimes in our life, they are not just all, its truth that really builds us, the things that we don't want to accept and listen to.

Definitely not easy. But I am anticipating for the results at the end of this things. (;

We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary,

Its been so long and I felt so uneasy when I spoke the word..

Anyway, I am happy and pleased (:

Be strong and take courage.

BE STRONG AND TAKE COURAGE

Be strong and take courage
Do not fear or be dismayed
For the Lord will go before you
And His light will show the way

Be strong and take courage
Do not fear or be dismayed
For the one who lives within you
Will be strong in you today

Why don't you give Him all of your fears
Why don't you let Him wipe all of your tears
He knows, He's been through pain before
And He knows all that you've been looking for

Nothing can take you out of his hand
Nothing can face you, that you can't command
I know that you will always be
In His love, in His power
You will be free!

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

In moments like these,

I felt it once again, maybe my hope was placed on the wrong things.

- I see a prison, but God sees it as a palace.

I praise you in the storm.

I'm in Pasir Ris library using Clar's lappy. (: Happy ttm as comp crashed.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this something that I saw on cab today.

It says..
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift..
That is why it is called "present".

Greater things

God said, "For when you are weak, than I am strong."

CHIN TING FANG, can you stretch your legs further and take bigger steps forward, to the fullest of your potential. Stop being comfortable and lazy to move out of your own comfort zone, get shaken and die to your own flesh. Take the hard way out.

*A smile from you would be great.. even if my hair is messy (:

I will follow You.

My song became like this..

I can't follow Him,
Follow Him wherever He may go,
Cause there is an ocean too deep,
A mountain so high that keep me,
Keep me away, away from His love..

I don't feel good at all. It added on to the stress I already had. I don't understand why I reacted that way, I didn't wanted everything to turn out like that. I tired to stay in control, but I had no strength at all. I ended up in tears and tiredness. The moment I thought of it, I become weak and wanted nothing except for feizhu. I don't want to put this at the back of mind.

I will still continue to sing..

I will follow Him,
Follow Him wherever He may go,
There isn't an ocean too deep,
A mountain so high it can keep,
Keep me away, away from His love...

God with me.

Argh, I feel the exam rush.
I regretted not studying earlier, tsk.
Bearing in mind that it is for God's glory and not man.

Anyway, I have finally made it. I felt bouncy when I did it, finally! (:
It was God who carried me through. (:

Healing hand of God.

She had been sexually abused by her father and brothers, diagnosed an alcoholic at sixteen, and had been continually involved in the use of drugs. The message she had heard all of her life was that she was trash. When you hear that long enough, you believe it. And what do you do with trash? You dispose of it. That was what she was trying to do with her own life - dispose of herself in one way or another.

One night she came in drunk, and another night she was high on drugs. By the third of fourth night she had taken some lethal combination of pills, and she had to be rushed to some medical emergency center.

Dr Schaeffer had been out of the country lecturing. He returned that night, exhausted after a long trip. But when he discovered what serious trouble she was in, he immediately went to her and stayed by her side for many hours that night. When she finally returned to the room the next day, the look on her face was almost impossible to describe. She looked at me with eyes as wide as saucers, and she said, "Becky, he didn't get mad at me for breaking the all the rules here. He held my hand. And he begged me to give God a chance. He had tears in his eyes when he heard all the junk that had happened to me. He cared so much for my pain. but he told me over and over, "Please just give God a chance. He loves you. He can help you. Don't lose hope." I told him, "I have no hope. It's been beaten out of me." And he said, "I understand. Than hang on to my hope. Lean on my faith till you have your own. Trust my hope for what God can do in your life. Just please give God a chance."

It was all because I had became God myself.

Still You love me,

I just felt like..

How come I am doing so much, yet getting so little in return?
I expected something more than just this, really.

Can I say I am exhausted from all the doing? )':

Psalm 139:14 - “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

The human body is the most complex and unique organism in the world, and that complexity and uniqueness speaks volumes about the mind of its Creator. Every aspect of the body, down to the tiniest microscopic cell, reveals that it is fearfully and wonderfully made.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

So fearfully and wonderfully made,
How could they say there is no God?
Reminded every breath that I take,
It's by Your hand I have been formed
So what am I going to do with this life You gave me?
What could I do but live for Your praise?

You gave me this breath,
And You gave me this strength,
And every day I'll live to obey You.
With all of my heart,
With all of my soul;
Let every breath I'm breathing display You God.

There's elegance in all you create
Your grand designs leave us amazed.
The wonders of the way we've been made
Speak of Your power, tell of Your grace.
So what am I going to do with this life You gave me?
What could I do but live for Your praise?

So what am I going to do with this life You gave me?
What am I going to do with this life?
What I am I going to do in these days You've ordained?
What am I going to do with this life?

You do all things well.

I just couldn't do it. Is there another way out for this? Its true that I don't want to brush through the whole thing but I just don't know how. ):

This had been something that I longed to do but now I just want to give up and run away. )':

God, You gotta be real with me. No, I should be real with You.

How much more of this can I take?

Nobody cared, so I decided not to too.
I don't understand why is it always like that.

Help me know You are near.

It's finally holiday but there's some mugging to do definitely, and not excluding shopping can.

*Desperateness pleases and moves God, come to God desperately.

And pick up the crippled man,

Even when I haven't even started to speak,
She spoke more than usual, right into my face.
I felt bad, discouraged, disheartened, like a failure.
I didn't managed to do what I was supposed to do.
But when I left, I knew I got to pick myself up,
So I decided to try again, this time,
To fight harder and stronger, with God.

I really hope everything would turn out alright. Because I understand that devil hate believers building the kingdom of God.

*I am very glad because I managed to poured it out.

I believe.

History, indeed is a struggle for poor TingFang ):

I'm Yours.

Even before I fully grasp July, August is here. I stood in wonder, why time just slips off my hand.

Anyway, I thought I could share my happiness.
I was doing my devotion yesterday and it has been quite a long time since I really enjoyed it. Last night, I literally felt like I was fed to satiety and full, not because I just had my dinner la, but it was just the word of God. I think that's how devotion should be like and that's how I want it to be like. I just caught a glimpse of what daily bread meant to be. My heart's desire is to suck from God's word, its okay to be a glutton when it comes to God's word, haha.

Oh!
Basketball and badminton today was great. I thank God for fishes.

Search me, O God.

Search me, O God,
Let me my heart be pure before You
In all that I do,
May it be pleasing to You.

God, I just pray that you break every impure motives in my heart.

Your mercy brings me to my knees,

Wasn't this suppose to be a carefree race?
How come I feel so burdened and heavy?

I was carried to the table, seated where I don't belong.

I was just taking my normal bus ride to school when God reminded me about what Pastor Daniel shared during RAW camp last year during the last day.

"I saw this guy knocked into a girl who was standing there while he was running, I thought the girl would get angry and may even scream at the guy. But out of my imagination, the girl ran with him."

Is this race that you are running, a very unexciting, wearisome one? Or is it a race that impacts, that causes the people around you to catch this fire and run this race with you?
God has challenged me.

I just can't get away.

(I just can't find the words to describe it.)

I am an arrow, I am a rocket
I am a river and nothing can stop it
Cause You are the target and You are the atmosphere
You are the ocean that keeps pulling me, You're pulling me here

And I, can't get away, can't get away
Can't get away, can't get away
I can't get away, can't get away...I keep running into You

I am a beggar, You are the table
I am so helpless, God You are so able
And when I get turned around You change my direction
You're so perfect, I'm so broken, here You come with arms wide open
Chasing after me down every road
You're always waiting there

Even when I close my eyes, I can't help but see
There's no place that I can hide, You're such a part of me
I can't get away cause I keep running into You

I can't get away...

There are many prodigal sons,

Let my home and school be my mission field.

- "Don't give up on me."

Quoted.
- "Here we are, talking about His second coming but many have not heard of His first."

Every time I get another glimpse of Your heart,

Today, I am gonna introduce you to..

1) Something more cool than restaurant city, pet society, happy farm
2) Something more "in" than the most fashionable clothe or shoe
3) Something that you might not want to miss in your whole life!!!!!!!
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Its the..
*drum rolls*

Opps, I am so sorry..
It's something more interesting than you!
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Proudly presenting..

THE SPORTS CARNIVAL,

ROMP!09

*screaming and shouting is heard from everywhere*

And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer.

I saw this somewhere but I just couldn't recall where I found it. The saying goes like this, "Only when you are near to a person than you will be able to feel the person's heartbeat. So draw near to God, so that you would be able to feel His heartbeat." I totally agree.

God's heartbeat was for the people who were lost.

God, if I have drift away from You and couldn't feel your heartbeat more. Draw me back close to You, let my heart goes all out for people. Its been 6months, I have failed so many times but I know I have to pick myself up again. Light that fire again, the burning flame when I first stepped into the school.

Let it not be a lip service anymore. Take this life, You can use it all.

(click for a larger view)

Like a rose, trampled on the ground.

Home Sweet Home!

Yeapyeap, TingFang survived through a 3days 2nights camp in Sarimbun Camp. Can you imagine sleeping in tents where you need to squeeze with so many people (for my tent la -.-) AND than, when you know that there is a bug on your leg yet you don't dare to make big movements because you are afraid you might wake others?! Having no lights in your tents and must use torchlight to pack your stuffs and bathing without taking off your clothes for 2 days!!!!!! That was what I went through incredibily.

Well, but I did enjoy things in the camp. Like the night hiking with ChenShin infront of me, being so noisy yet so funny! Sliding into the milo pond, kayaking even though I got injured, campfire night. I think I was thankful for the serene environment to do my devotion and the scenery was very nice too, with all the trees and grass around me. Overall, the camp was great and it did made a mark in my secondary school life.

Thumbs up!

I stand here before You,

My cry is that I wanna see God work greater this week.

Did You rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might Know Your majesty?

Road of life.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

The road to Success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Studies. But, if you have a spare tire called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.

Capture my heart again,

If God is a bus, are you the crowd who is just so kiasu (as in excited) to get up the bus?

Come as you are, no jacket required.

I shook my head in disbelief. This couldn’t be the right place. After all, I couldn't possibly be welcome here. I had been given an invitation several times, by several different people, and had finally decided to see what this place was all about. But, this just couldn’t be the right place. Quickly, I glanced down at the invitation that clutched in my hand. I scanned past the words, "Come as you are. No jacket required," and found the location.

Yes, I was at the right place. I peered through the window again and saw a room of people whose faces seemed to glow with joy. All were neatly dressed, adorned in fine garments and appeared strangely clean as they dined at this exquisite restaurant. Ashamed, I looked down at my own tattered and torn clothing, covered in stains. I was dirty, in fact, filthy.

A foul smell seemed to consume me and I couldn’t shake the grime that clung to my body. As I turned around to leave, the words from the invitation seemed to leap out at me, "Come as you are. No jacket required."

I decided to give it a shot. Mustering up every bit of courage I could find, I opened the door to this restaurant and walked up to a man standing behind a podium. Your name, sir?" he asked me with a smile. "Daniel F. Renken," I mumbled without looking up. I thrust my hands deep into my pockets, hoping to conceal their stains. He didn't seem to notice the filth that I was covered in and he continued, "Very good, sir. A table is reserved in your name. Would you like to be seated?" I couldn’t believe what I heard! A grin broke out on my face and I said, "Yes, of course! "He led me to a table and, sure enough, there was a placard with my name written on it in a deep, dark red.

As I browsed over a menu, I saw many delightful items listed. There were things like, "peace," "joy," "blessings," "confidence," "assurance," "hope," "love," "faith," and "mercy." I realized that this was no ordinary restaurant! I flipped the menu back to the front in order to see where I was. "God's Grace," was the name of this place!

The man returned and said, "I recommend the 'Special of the Day'." With it, you are entitled to heaping portions of everything on this menu." You've got to be kidding! I thought to myself. You mean, I can have ALL of this! "What is the 'Special of the Day,' I asked with excitement ringing in my voice. "Salvation," was his reply. "I'll take it," I practically cried out. Then, as quickly as I made that statement, the joy left my body. A sick, painful ache jerked through my stomach and tears filled my eyes. Between my sobs I said, "Mister, look at me. I'm dirty and nasty. I'm unclean and unworthy of such things. I'd love to have all of this, but, I Just can't afford it."

Undaunted, the man smiled again. "Sir, your check has already been taken care of by that Gentleman over there," he said pointing to the front of the room. "His Name is Jesus."

Turning, I saw a man whose very presence seemed to light the room. He was almost too much to look at. I found myself walking towards Him and in shaking voice I whispered, "Sir, I'll wash the dishes or sweep the floors or take out the trash. I'll do anything I can do to repay you for all of this." He opened His arms and said with a smile, "Son, all of this is yours if you just come unto Me. Ask Me to clean you up and I will. Ask Me to take away the stains and it is done. Ask Me to allow you to feast at My table and you will eat. Remember, the table is reserved in your name. All you must do is accept this gift that I offer you."

Astonished, I fell at His feet and said, "Please, Jesus. Please clean up my life. Please change me and seat me at Your table and give me this new life." Immediately, I heard the words, "It is finished." I looked down and white robes adorned my squeaky clean body. Something strange and wonderful had happened. I felt new, like a weight had been lifted, and I found myself seated at His table.

"The 'Special of the Day' has been served," the Lord said to me. "Salvation is yours." We sat and talked for a great while and I so enjoyed the time that I spent with Him. He told me, me of all people, that He would like me to come back as often as I liked for another helping from God's Grace. He made it clear that He wanted me to spend as much time with Him as possible.

As it drew near time for me to go back outside into the "real world," He whispered to me softly, "And Daniel, I am with you always." And then, He said something to me that I will never forget. He said, "My child, Do you see these empty tables throughout this room?" "Yes, Lord. I see them. What do they mean?" I replied. "These are reserved tables, but the individuals whose names are on each placards have not accepted their invitations to dine. Would you be so kind as to hand out these invitations to those who have not joined us yet?" Jesus asked. "Of course," I said with excitement as I picked up the invitations. "Go ye therefore into all nations," He said as I turned to leave. I walked into God’s Grace dirty and hungry. Stained in sin. My righteousness as filthy rags. And Jesus cleaned me up. I walked out a brand new man . . . robed in white, His righteousness. And so, I'll keep my promise to my Lord. I'll go.

I'll spread the Word.

I'll share the Gospel . . .

I'll hand out the invitations.

And I’ll start with you. Have you been to God's Grace? There's a table reserved in your name, and here's your invitation . . . "Come as you are. No jacket required."

Where the love lasts forever.

考试了!!

D:

Can't live by what I feel.

I am really frustrated by inconsiderate people.

I was on bus and the bus was packed like sardine and it was a new wheel chair bound bus than there's seats at the side of the bus right and I guess those seats are for needy people like old people etc. I mean, its common sense what, which old people or needy people would like to climb the stairs to sit at those sits above. (I am talking about the one decker bus k.) So there was this PREGNANT lady and I was really sure that she was pregnant and not having a bloated stomach.
Than on those seats that were for the needy people, were sitting a old lady, a wearing uniform girl, a not very old lady who dozed off and a guy who is listening to his headphones. As I mentioned, the bus was full with people than there was obviously no seats and this pregnant lady stood in front of those seats expecting at least one of them get up and give up their seat. Obviously it wouldn't be the old lady or the lady who dozed off. But guess what, those two teens didn't even bothered. The uniform girl was busy gossiping with her friend on the phone and the guy was just enjoying his music. Bleahs. What if the bus had a brake and the pregnant lady hit one of the poles or something? It is like so dangerous. The lady had to stand for one stop before she could find a seat. Even though it is one stop but it is still very dangerous.
And don't ask me why I did not go up and advice them to give up their seat, the bus was obviously too full. I feel so annoyed by those people and I just stared at them hoping that they would at least feel it. But its okay, God still loves them.

Actually I have fear of giving up my seats because I am afraid what if the person is not pregnant bus just having a fleshy stomach? You will feel like damn paiseh if you give up your seats to the wrong people. Wahahah.

Yes, I love my Jesus deep down in my heart.

Jesus loves you!

I think sometimes, our life needs to pace down and look at something simple.
Maybe you think you would not need to but I need.

Out of love.

I just realized that my white flower found a companion, barlog's graduation photo's flower.

Since I am posting than I thought I shall post this too.

Celebrated this two girl's birthday in Just Acia last saturday.

See my smile! It shows how pleasant my dinner had been.

And I really want to praise the manager because he is so nice. We asked for permission and he even offered help! :D Oh, and thanks for the people in the restaurant because they took part in making our birthday song sounded louder.

With Christ in the vessel, I can smile at the storm.

It was a 1hr and 45mins one. I made a short prayer before I started telling God that I just want Him to take care of my problems like how He took care of the birds in the air. I was pretty confident when I lifted up my pen and started writing. I thought I could have done Mr Fauzi proud. In an assured manner, I handed up my paper, hoping to at least get an A2 for it. But now I think I have screwed it all up.

My heart just shattered deep inside, it shows how much truth hurts.
I don't want to dwell in it.

This is my prayer in the desert.

I feel so thrashed like as if I am in a tough soccer game. And the best thing is that, I am not even equipped for this and I was thrown into the game.
(As in not a physical game but a spiritual one.)

I think I am back to my escape theme park and it seems like a cycle.
Oh God, not at this moment!!!!!!!!!!!!

My stream had been drained by so many things and it dries up completely.
Let Your rain fall and fill me till I overflow again.

Strong on the outside but coming apart at the seams

Don't you think the weather this few days is so terrible?! I am sweating most of the time unless I have the fan on to the max. And I feel so giddy nowadays, is the world spinning a bit faster already?

HAHA, I just realised that Mr E1 is next Tuesday and I just cannot feel the rush!!! The exam rush. This year's streaming and I can't afford to lose out in any area. I have to give it my best shot!!!! Sticky note that states, "Can you start studying?!! AND STOP HANGING AROUND IN FACEBOOK AND MSN!!" is just on my comp screen. 7 more days to muggggggggg before first candlelight breakfast starts.

God, You have to restore back it back to the place where it should be.

You called my name

Its worth reading and identify whether you are in this category as you read.

Proverbs 6 : 16-19 (King James Version)
¹⁶These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: ¹⁷A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, ¹⁸An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, ¹⁹A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

PRIDE!!!!

God has a plan for your life. God is perfect, therefore, His plan is perfect.

It is impossible for you with your sin nature to execute the plan of God for your life. Therefore, God has provided through His grace a way for you to execute His plan, purpose, and will during your lifetime.

Whenever a Christian fails in executing the plan of God for his life, sinful pride is the primary reason and motivating cause.

Pride is the basic mental attitude sin. As you will see in this study, sinful pride (or arrogance) precedes and supports all of the sinful mental attitudes the sin nature produces.

Satan was the first creature guilty of pride. His motivation of pride is found in one line of Isa. 14:14. "I will make myself like the Most High God." The original sin of pride is amplified in the following passage.

Ezek 28:14-17. "You were the Anointed Cherub who guards; I placed you there. You were on the holy mountain of God; you walked among the stones of fire. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created until unrighteousness was found in you. By the abundance of your slander, they filled your inner life with violence and you sinned. Therefore, I have cast you as defiled from the mountain of God. I have excluded you, O Guardian Cherub, out from the stones of fire. Your right lobe was lifted up because of your beauty. You corrupted your wisdom because of your glamor. I have cast you to the earth. I have placed you before kings that they may see you."

A Description of Sinful Pride

Pride is a lofty self-respect totally apart from reality. It is high esteem of oneself from some imagined or real superiority.

Pride is the antithesis of grace. The believer who is arrogant is totally blind to the grace of God.

Pride is synonymous with vanity, which is empty pride in regard to one's person, attainments, or possessions coupled with an excessive desire to be noticed, a lust for attention, lust for approval or praise from others.

Pride is the pomposity of vain glory. It is supercilious and haughty contempt of others.

Pride supports a whole array of sins, such as jealousy, bitterness, vindictiveness, implacability, revenge motivation, revenge tactics, self-pity, conceit, inordinate ambition and competition, slander, gossip, and maligning.

Pride is a mental attitude sin which overflows into the motivation, decision making and activity of the individual. Pride includes several different concepts.

* Egotism. This is an excessive preoccupation with self and must be distinguished from ego, which is self-consciousness and is perfectly normal.

* Vanity. This is self-admiration and an excessive desire to be admired by others. Hence, vanity is easily flattered and patronized.

* Conceit. This is exaggerated estimate of one's abilities and attainments.

Scriptures Related to the Sin of Pride

Prov 11:2, "When pride comes, then come dishonor."

Prov 16:18, "Pride precedes destruction, and before a fall there is a lifestyle of pride."

Prov 23:29, "A person's pride will bring him low, but a lifestyle of humility will attain honor."

Rom 12:3, "For I say through the grace which has been given to me to everyone who is among you, stop thinking of self in terms of pride beyond what you ought to think, but think in terms of sanity for the purpose of being rational without illusion as God has assigned to each one of us a standard of thinking from doctrine."

Pride is defined in terms of the sin of jealousy in

Jam 3:14-16, "But if you have bitter jealousy and inordinate ambition in your right lobe, stop being arrogant, and stop lying against the truth [Bible doctrine]. This pseudo wisdom is not that which comes from above, but is earthly, natural, and demonic. For where jealousy and inordinate ambition exist there is disorder and every evil deed."

Prov 13:10, "Through pride comes strife, but wisdom is with those who receive instruction."

1 Pet 5:5, "Likewise you younger men be subject to the elder [pastor], and all of you cloth yourselves with humility toward one another. `For God makes war against the arrogant, but He gives grace to the humble.' Therefore, humble yourselves under the powerful hand of God, that He may promote you at the proper time."

Application

If God does not promote you, you are not promoted.

God promotes men and women of who have absorbed the Word of God.

God promotes humble or grace oriented people.

Promotion is a matter of doctrinal inculcation and grace-orientation.

Promotion is a matter of glorifying God through the execution of the plan of God for the believer in the Church Age.

Promoted believers are the invisible heroes of the Church Age..

2 Tim 3:2-7 describes facets of pride. "For persons [believers] will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, wicked, without virtue-love, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of God, treacherous, thoughtless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but having denied its power, in fact, avoid such persons as these. And among them [immoral arrogant believers] are those who creep into households and captivates silly women who are loaded down with sins and lead on by their multifarious lusts, always learning but never able to come to metabolized knowledge of the truth."

The Arrogance of Nations Brings Them Under Divine Discipline

Lev 26:19, "And I will break down the pride of your power. And I will make your sky like iron, and your land like bronze."

Isa 9:8-9, "The Lord sends a message against Jacob and it falls on Israel. And all the people know it, that is, Ephraim and the inhabitants of Samaria, who spoke with pride and pride of heart. The bricks have fallen down, but we will rebuild with smooth stones."

Ezek 7:10, "Behold, the day is coming. Your doom has gone forth. The rod of discipline has budded because pride has blossomed."

Pride is Always Related to the Rejection of the Word of God

1 Tim 6:3-4, "If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not concur with sound doctrine, those doctrines of our Lord Jesus Christ, even doctrines pertaining to godliness [spirituality], he has become arrogant, understanding nothing. Furthermore, he has morbid obsessions about controversies and verbal conflicts from which originate jealousy, discord, evil speculation."

Pride distracts the believer from doctrine. Pride divorces the believer from reality, both personal and historical. Pride is the corruptor of the soul and the sign that the sin nature is dominating the soul.

Pride destroys capacity for life, love, and happiness.

The Effects of Pride

The arrogant person rejects authority.

Pride motivates emotional sins, such as:

fear, worry, anxiety

hatred, anger, violence, murder

guilt and guilt complex

self-pity.

Pride reproduces itself in jealousy, bitterness, vindictiveness, implacability, revenge motivation and function, inordinate ambition and competition, gossip, slander, maligning, and judging.

Pride transformed into self-righteousness produces legalism.

The Solution to Pride

Occupation with Christ is the ultimate problem solving device regarding pride. [Refer to the notes on Occupation with Christ}

Prov 8:11, "The respect for the Lord is to hate evil, to hate pride and pride and the evil way. And I hate a perverted mouth."

Daily attention to the techniques of the Christian Way of Life will give you a grace mental attitude that becomes more and more free of pride as you grow in Christ and in the knowledge of His Word.

http://www.realtime.net/~wdoud/topics/pride.html

我相信

I agree that the deeper you walk with God, the deeper God digs out in your life and the deeper God gives you.

God has been breaking and digging out the same thing over and over again. It hurts but worth it for God's future plans for me. Please continue, Daddy.

I want to see a breakthrough in my life. 断掉!

I asked myself why Jesus said "Only Believe".
He said "ONLY! ONLY! ONLY!" because everybody can believe.
If you are hungry, only eat.
If you are thirsty, only drink.
If you are tired, only sleep.
And if you want a miracle from God, Jesus says "Only only only believe!"

Now I surrender..

http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=d5224dedef9e2563941f

Even though I have read the English one before but I have never seen the Chinese one.
And I was again touched by it, I just feel that God is just so sweet and wonderful.

God can count how many strands of hair I have and it shows how closely God looks at me.

Jesus Christ, take my life, take all of me.

I was searching a poem for literature homework and I decided to use this because it really encouraged me, a lot. Even though I know it at the back of mind but than it just act like a refreshing moment for me.

A lime sapling I found grew up in wild,
In ten years’ time to be a tree quite big;
For long it stayed dwarf-like: refused to grow,
As caterpillars ate its verdure leaves.

And not a flower or a fruit it bore!
Insects built nests and spiders spun cob-webs;
Its roots stood ’midst gravel and rocky mud;
Red-ants made home till ant-powder was put.

How sad it was to see the lime-tree’s fate!
The rain and sun nurtured it despite odds;
And one day when I stared at her foliage,
Amazed to see it covered by fruits!

There is a time for everything on earth;
‘There is a season for all things, ’ God says;
The keys to success- patience and strong faith;
God will decide when all things fruition best.

One never knows when God uses someone;
One never knows when God does miracles;
One never should look down upon others;
God has a plan for everything He makes!

Jeremiah 29:11, was the first thing that came into my mind after reading this poem.

I am counting on God.

I feel so unprepared for school even though it already started. Its just the first day of school, and these things happen, how can I continue to maintain my mood for this whole term. I am like back to where I am when school started in January, the rantings are back. School cycle.

Oh God.

Here is my life,

Wanted to blog but something took away the mood, far far far far away to the place where Cinderella and Snow White is.

I will go to the ends of the earth, for You.

I WANTED TO BLOG FOR LIKE SO LONG but I just don't know how to phrase my words.

But after she talked about it, I finally found the words to express how I feel.

I AM IMPRESS OF MYSELF SURVIVING THROUGH 10 WEEKS OF SCHOOL!
Yea, that's what I want to express. If you have been reading my blog, you should have saw the rantings of how tired school is for me in the earlier posts during January and February. And see where am I now, I am not complaining much already, I hope so.
OHYEA! I am only late for thrice this term! One of my goal was cannot get detention form and I did not!
lollipop jy! ♥

I just can't wait for tomorrow's lessons to end! Just one more day, so excited with my holidays!
(Ah fang ah, its just one week holiday and you are already like so mad over it. What will happen when June holidays draw near?! One month of holiday leh.)
Quite true ah. :X

Gotta chiong my project already, goodbye.

Your love is deeper than the deepest ocean.

Ah, this week has not been really good but at least I did something, small but meaningful and I sent a detailed schedule, maybe not detailed but at least better than previous ones right.

I am just waiting for the holidays to come, I am so sick of waking up at 6 and than go through school as usual. Than after school, either its cca, remedial or project work, have to crack my brains to solve this and that and when I fail to do so, I feel like a failure especially when I am holding certain post. But I know God will carry me through and God's love always take away that failure feeling.

A lot of things have happened over the months, I feel like as if I came back to 2008. Something ought to happen during this particular period, every year, maybe for 2 years. I wonder when can it stop happening and stay till forever and ever.

I thank God for the different papers that I have went through, all glory to God.

I am waiting for Ser to come up and collect her thumbdrive!!

Have you ever smile when everyone is not?

Come Lord Jesus come.

I felt like a failure. I feel so irritated and pissed.

All who are thirsty
All who are weak
Come to the fountain
Dip your heart in the stream of life
Let the pain and the sorrow
Be washed away
In the waves of his mercy
As deep cries out to deep (we sing)

I will follow You.

I know I don't have doraemon to bring me back to the past to change things around. So I only can do better in the future and make sure I don't regret my ways again.

I thank God for the past 2 months and I want to thank God even more for a brand new month.

I've waited all my life to be here face to face
I never knew that I could feel this kind of grace
The way You show me that Your love has
Washed me clean
Could never be erased, it lives inside of me

Take me to that secret place
Where I can only see Your face
And nothing else will ever feel this way
You take away my guilty stains
The things I've done that I can't change
It's only by the power of Your name

I stand here in this place
See the glory on Your face
Taken by the wonder of Your name

I'm desperate for Your touch
Never needed it so much
'Cause all I want is You

When all the things around me
Have fallen to the ground
I'm always thankful
For the love in You I've found

I have been here and here I am again.

Just like banging on the wall when I already knew that how hard I bang, it won't fall but I still continue to bang.

February is gonna come to an end real soon.. I still feel so..

Tsk. Need to learn to discipline myself by not taking busy as an excuse! Something that I need to breakthrough in, something which will bring me further if I am able to come out of it, something that will bless me a lot when I get out of it. So many positive rewards but humans like me tend to stay at where we are. But I make sure I come out.

Pray
Until
Something
Happens

I want to continue to trust in the promise that You have given to me.

TingFang, you need to pick yourself up from the mess that you have made again.

(I want to post something nice but it seems like nothing nice is going through my life.)

I give my heart all to You.

TingFang, its time for you to magnify God in your circumstances.

Stop making wild guesses and anyhow speak of things that is not proven.

Great is thy faithfulness.

Is teaching God's word the same as teaching maths questions?

When I looked back at the two youth camps that I have attended, it was cool. I mean each year brings me to a deeper level and a more special level with God through different ways and every camp was so real, too hard to not believe its not God.

Its hard to believe in what I can't see.

I wanna believe
But I'm having a hard time seeing past what I see right now, I see right now
I wanna be free
But when I try to fly I realize I don't know how, no one showed me how
Wish I could see that this mess I'm in will really work out for my good, you said it would
So, if you can hear me, can you give me a sign cause I don't feel you like I should, please if you could
My faith is almost gone, I can't hold on much longer, take this cup from me

I wanna believe when I close my eyes on this side I'll wake up with you, more in love with you
And, and finally, you will say my race it is over and my work is through, cause I believed in you
I know dark nights will come and some days there'll be no sunshine and you're too far to see

I don't know when, I don't know how, I don't know what, I don't know who.
But I believe as I wait, I will know.

Proverbs 3:4-6 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Jiayou TF! You can do it.

Whoooo, that is how school is like, whooooo. Everyday seems to pass so fast and I shared with my group today that I felt I have done nothing for the past 2 months, 一事无成. Pretty saddening, I will continue to work towards my goals, I don't want to see myself being dissappointed at the end of the year. Before everything passes quickly, I want to grab hold of every minute and do something! But 谈何容易, tsk.

Jiayou TF! You can do it. You really can do it and you must do it not only for the sake of doing.

Thank You.

I have brought the 7th black pen of this year.

I felt God with me as I type those words for my report work, I hope to be able to complete it!

The God of peace will soon crush satan under your feet.

I read this book recently and it talked about knowing whats right and wrong in life.

I began to see what it really meant through life's situations because I didn't really understood what the book was trying to say.

Real life example :
"A student went to tell a teacher about the homework that need to be collected today. Teacher realized that he actually forgotten about it so he asked the whole class to pass it up."
What was the whole class's reaction after knowing that?
"OI! SO KPO FOR WHAT?!" (I bet you do it sometimes.)
BUT isn't that a correct act? Why is he/she being penalize? Is it just because he/she goes against the flow (acting wrongly)?

It totally applies to your own actions and speech, you know what you are doing/saying is wrong but you are still doing/saying it. Sometimes, it counts me in too.
I don't understand why but I do wonder why people are like this.

Random question but definitely a good question to ponder over.
What are you living for in this world?
I'm not trying to mean like if you are not living for something than you do not deserve to continue living but its helping you to search and find the meaning of life :D I've found it, what about you?

God has been opening a lot of doors, I can see it.

My deep desire to love You.

Happy valentine's day!
I thank God for being my valentine this year.

Is it because of Jesus' blood and He being my valentine, thats why red roses are popular during valentines' day?

Anyway, I thank God too because my foot is healing really fast.
I pray that He heal my cough and throat too.

Be exalted forever and ever more.

Sometimes devil just put thoughts into my mind like "Are you sure God is real?"

I waver in the past but now I can firmly say "Ya." because I've experienced His goodness for so many times. I saw how He led me through so many things, how he blessed me, how he mould me and comfort me in times of pain, how I see miracles happening. The teeny things that you might have not noticed, when you reflect, you surely would see God's goodness in it. All you need to do is simply to recall and reflect, I think its the best way to remember God is there for you always. And how He has been nice.

God broke my heart for what broke His, seeing you in this state.
We have done what we can do to help you, its your own choice now.

He will carry meeeeeeeee.

I just can't stop screaming at the fungus thingy on my feet, I don't know whats that disgusting thing called la!! I can't believe that it actually have been with me for 3 weeks and I thought it was a blister until it didn't burst after 21days!! Ohmygoodness, my hair all stand already, thank God someone realized what it was!! My dad is mad with me and he went to bathe leaving me here alone to apply the medication!!

OMGGGGGG, SO DISGUSTING!!

Its seriously the worst thing that have grown on my body. Please take precaution after my experience!! Ewwww, my hair still standing!!

My hair sings, "I'm still standingggg.."

Can You make it feel alright?

I cannot stand it but I cannot just assume that my presumptions are true.

Come by here.

I felt like blogging even when I know I have truckloads of homework that I have to complete! See, I'm so nice to sacrifice time for you so that you can read.

HOHO! (my dad just scolded me for still being a santa claus when its cny alr.) I don't know what to post but I want to post. I have a lot of things before I press blogger.com but its blank now, maybe I'm ready to pen down maths solutions already D:

Alright alright, I know what. God has taught me a lot of things this week through a lot of circumstances, through a lot of reading, through a lot of sharing. I don't understand a lot of things sometimes but I know Jeremiah 29:11 would be the best verse for me at this moment.

Thus far, I'm still not satisfied at where I am and I know there's still a long way with limited time to walk through.

有你跟着我,还害怕什么?

主说:"去爱就是去冒险,因为你要敞开你的心,有时候就会受到伤害."

God, I'm willing but I just cannot.

Hold on, listen and obey, surrender your life into His keeping

I don't understand why.
But I hope you guys know what to choose because you have once experienced His love.

A choice is set before you now
Living or dying, blessing or cursing
And know, the time has come around
To turn from your fighting and rest in His mercy

Choose life, that you might live
The life that He gives, He gives you forever
Choose life, the way that is true
From the one who chose you, your father in heaven
Choose life

I'm still available for you and you.

You're the answer.

I really really need to learn to speak! If not I'm gonna just waste another year. Tingfang, wake up and look at the calendar, its been one month!

Well, CNY has been great but I think its not that good this year. But I thank God for everything that has happened during that few days.

I really have no pictures to blog because I'm too lazy to bring my camera out and snap!

My heart wanting more.

God rend the heavens and came down when He heard my cry!!

Its so real and I know that is real. Everything is like cartoon, so cute, so cool. God never cease to amaze me with His mighty power.

God is stretching because I'm too fat to wear that pants, if He doesn't stretch, my pants will have a big big hole.

To those who are fat : Jiayou!

This old broken heart has finally found a home.

I was hopping from here to there, there to here on my comp. And I finally.. remember what to do. I wanted to blog! -.-

Its not 爱 TingFang but I'm trying to emphasize on the 爱 part. Anyway, you have to love me also :D That cute cute thing always encouraging me to not give up in loving for God. You always get tempted away because you have the choice to love or not to love and since loving is so hard, I used to give up and say "others will do it for me la." But I know that its my business now. Loving is really exhausting if it doesn't flow out from within..

TINGFANG MUST INCREASEINCREASEINCREASE IN LOVE!

Anyway, TingFang has been really obedient this few weeks. I finish reading 2 books in a month and I'm starting on my 3rd book now! :D I never cease to be impressed by myself.

Show me how to love like You have love me.

I'm really, seriously amazed by how God provided strength.
And how God led me through every situation.

Tired. Drained. Fatigued. Wearied. But God just came and provided strength little by little. It has been a really "ohmygoodness" period when school started but at least I was able to pull through. I still thought I would have to spend my year being "ohmygoodness" everyday.

You know what?! God has already fulfilled one of my goals (I believe there's more to come!), WOW-ness. God is just so good, words cannot express how good He is but He is just really really x100000000000 good la. And I felt that all the people around me are thanking God for some particular reason, see how good God is. He's faithful to everyone and to tingfang!

And hor, I wonder why people want to pee in the lift! Argh, I hate it. Mum says some old uncle who sits under the block is urgent then they lazy go home to pee so just go in one lift and pee inside, oh so yuck!

From fear to faith, from weakness to strength!

"Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life." Revelation 2:10

I'm afraid but I cannot stay in this position anymore.

You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are

You’re the light in this darkness
You’re the hope to the hopeless
You’re the peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done here

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Say "YES!" with me because its finally weekends. It has been an exhausting week indeed and the coming week will most probably drain me of all strength. *Sigh*

Thank God that things have been nice and the slopes are still gentle, not steep yet. I wonder what will happen next?

Give me Your strength, I wanna live for You.

Its just the 3rd day of school and I seriously need a short break already D: I can't wait for weekends.
Fang ah, hang on!
He has been talking again..

"Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life." Revelation 2:10

祷告因为我渺小
祷告因为我知道我需要
明瞭你心意对我重要
祷告已假装不了
祷告因为你的爱我需要
你关怀我走过的你都明白

有些是我只想对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下，我知道你你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说
主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用

Would You let me ask the questions that is burning inside of me?

HOLIDAYS ARE OVER, fortunately and unfortunately.
Well, this holidays has been a fruitful one. Too much to elaborate about it so hehe (:

Well, first day of school was really nice. Everything just went so smoothly that its too hard to believe that it actually happened, seriously.
Oh, chinese prayer meeting from today onwards, I'm pretty excited for it (:

Take me and invade me
Make me someone new
Wake me from the dead
And break me with the truth

Move me and disturb me
Interrupt my peace
Tear open my heart
And pull me to my knees

There's a world outside
That is burning
While I'm turning blinded eyes
While I stand by

I won't survive
To live this ordinary life
I'm not alive
To live this ordinary life

And I will try
To see this world I live in
With Your eyes
To love this world You've given
With my life
To see this world I live in
With Your eyes
To love this world You've given
With my life

(I find this song so cool. Ohmy, I just bold everything again :X)

Anyway, this is the first time I post not late at night, cool.

Open the floodgates of heaven.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In your new year's resolution, please remember to include "love tingfang many many".
Thanks very much.
And please really really believe that God is gonna do something big this year in your life and my life too! :D
Lets expect something bigger and raw-er.

Fix my eyes on You Jesus as I run this race, help me fight this fight of faith.

Here I am
At your feet
Crying out to you
Draw me near
Hold me close
Lord I wait on you
For you're my greatest love
You're my comforter and strength
You're the first
You're the last
You're my guiding light

I will run
I will soar
On eagle's wings
As I wait
On you Lord
My strength is restored
Fix my eye on you Jesus
As I run this race
Help me fight this fight of faith

(I wanted to bold the things God encouraged me but I ended up having every single word bold :X)

January was when I was shaken yet trying to put a holy front during weekends and playing with the world during weekdays.
February was when I really stumbled and decided to turn to the world, that is also when the devil shouts horray in my life.
March was when I was really high playing in the world, wanting to try all sorts of things.
April was when I was getting a bit tired but still in my high mood.
May was when I looked back at the 2 months without God and thought that I will go nowhere with that kind of life.
June was when God took me back and bought me back to where I belong.
July was when I slowly get back on track with God and really made the decision to dedicate my whole life to God and choose life.
August was when I was struggling with my friends and working real hard to make a difference but failed many times.
September was when I commit my life to God through water baptism.
October was when God fixed the leak and took away the hidden sin. God moved in my heart and gave me back that passionate heart for Him.
November was when God break all the things that I know that He needs to break.

December was when I really laid down my life and let God take control of next year. And really wanting to make a difference in my community next year.

Well, looking back one month by one month. I can say that 2008 has been a very special year for me where I took up a lot of challenges and went through every one of them. I may gave up in the starting but I still claimed back victory in the end. I guess God fulfilled one of my expectations which is to end my year well. I really thank God for His faithfulness, goodness, love, kindness and grace. I think if not been for Him, I really wouldn't know what I'm gonna be like now.

Its gonna be January in 1 day time and I'm gonna go back to my real world and face the different giants in my life. God has been preparing me for war by encouraging me with a lot of verses and I think the giants that I'm gonna face is gonna be real big that I need so much verses to cover me. I really don't want to come back crying to God saying that "I've lost" or even worst, "I gave up". I want to come back laughing all the way at the devil and sharing with God what weapons I used to beat all the giants. I know that God is gonna help me fight.

I really hope that I will cling on to You even when I'm in the most difficult time. Just like how You've prayed for qingde, pray for me too. A year of breakthroughs, a year of venture, a year of transformation, a year of molding, a year of learning, a year of victories and a year of faith. I'm gonna look forward and I want to stand and testify about your goodness in the same time, same date next year.

I'm gonna pen down my expectations of next year and see God fulfilling it one by one ;D I'm really really eggcited, how many eggs are excited? Thousands, millions and billions of them!